Daddy's Crazy 46-Miler: One week to go!

I'm down to seven days until the Daddy's Crazy 46-Miler. I feel like I'm ready: my training has gone well, I have my route well thought out, I know what my strategy is for the run. I even got interviewed by the Washington Post Express-- it should be on the newstands next Tuesday, I think. And yet it doesn't feel very real for me yet. When I did this a year and a half ago... it just feels like my life has changed so much since that time. We bought a house and moved from Woodley Park to Glover Park. Sonia started working at the State Department and I started walking Daniel to school in the mornings. The big snow came. I got a big promotion at FEMA. We adopted Sparky.

My dad died.

I suppose life was just different. And last time, I really wasn't certain it was possible for me to finish the run. This time, I know it's likely I'll finish it. And I'm pretty sure I'll get through it in a lot better shape this time.

One thing that keeps running through my mind is the question Vicky Hallett asked me last week in the interview: "Why are you doing this?" I don't remember my exact answer, but it was something like, "because I have to... I can't imagine not doing this." Even when I told Vicky this, I knew I wasn't fully satisfied with the answer. I wish I had said that I love the feeling of running for hours in the dark by myself. Or that the way I lived my life sixteen years ago, I used to dream about doing things like this but never could have. Or that running a long way, for me, is kind of a celebration of the fact that I'm free to do this kind of thing now.

I did explain that my head clears when I'm out there running. That running is like meditating for me, and that when I'm having a good day, the monkeys in my head stop chattering for a while. I didn't tell her that it's like a long prayer for me; it is. I wish I could explain that better. But it certainly is true, and it's a big reason for my running.

Anyway, seven days to go. And really, I can't wait to get out there and start running.

Things Change: The final edits are finished

I finally finished editing and re-recording the 14 songs I wrote in February. They form an album called "Things Change". You can listen to the songs with the player here, or on the following page.

http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/2548531

This is a song cycle about recovery from addiction: what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now. The 14 tracks are built around this three part structure:

Track 1. What it was like

What happened:
Track 2. Step 1: Well I admit it
Track 3. Step 2: Always there
Track 4. Step 3: Things Change
Track 5. Step 4: I was a drunkard
Track 6. Step 5: This with me to the grave must go
Track 7. Step 6: What does it mean to be ready
Track 8. Step 7: Pawn shop
Track 9. Step 8: Rewrite history
Track 10. Step 9: Just some papers we had signed
Track 11. Step 10: Wrong wrong wrong
Track 12. Step 11: You as I understand you
Track 13. Step 12: Fully awake

Track 14: What it's like now.

The songs a really very varied. In talking with a few people, it has come up that the first song ("What is was like") is a bit sad-- as it should be. Things look up as the cycle goes along.

My favorite tracks are "Always There", "I was a drunkard", "Pawn Shop", "Fully Awake", and "What it's like now", although I really am pretty happy with all of them.

http://timothychenallen.blogspot.com/2010/04/things-change-final-edits-are-finished.html

New Song: Always There

This is a work in progress called "Always There" from a 14 song set I'm working on called "Things Change". I'm still working on editing and re-recording the entire set. This is a rough version of the song I put together yesterday afternoon; I have some ideas for it that I still want to write up. But I thought it would be interesting to let people hear what what it is like along the way.



I don't mind if you didn't create everything
I don't mind if you're not always there
I don't even mind if you let me down sometimes
I just need some help with this one thing

I don't mind if you aren't always perfect
I can tell from the look of the world that that doesn't mean a thing
And besides, perfect for me can intimidate me
All I ask is that you be good enough

Cause when I'm falling down
Just need your hand to be there

I don't mind if you didn't create everything
I don't mind if you're not always there
I don't even mind if you let me down sometimes
I just need some help with this one thing

I don't mind if you aren't always perfect
I can tell by the look of the world that that doesn't mean a thing
And besides, perfect for me can intimidate me
All I ask is that you be good enough

Cause when I'm falling down
Just need your hand always there

I don't mind if you didn't create everything...

14 years! My songwriting page

I celebrated 14 years since 15-January-1995 today. Pretty good, a day like any other, really. A little chilly, really.

Who am I kidding, I was over the moon.

One thing I finally got around to doing was sprucing up my songwriting page on MySpace. I wrote a few songs last year for February Album Writing Month and posted them there. I'll be participating in the FAWM again this year, so hopefully my listing will get longer this year:

http://www.myspace.com/timothychenallen

22 Miles - Help me hear your work

I decided to try and incorporate a really long run on Sundays. So this morning I rolled out of bed at 5 am and finally hit trail at 5:30. It was really dark out when I took off down Rock Creek Parkway from Woodley Park. When I got to Water Street in Georgetown I ran into a bunch of Marines who were preparing the route for the Marine Corps Marathon. I greeted them loudly and then promptly hit an uneven patch of pavement and went down hard. I could feel I had banged my left knee a bit but didn't think it was too bad. It turns out I was wrong, I took a pretty good patch of skin off of my knee.

I hit the trailhead for the Capital Crescent Trail and ran all the way to Mass Ave before the sun came up. I was very happy I had a tail light and a flashlight. Even before the sun comes up the Crescent is pretty busy.

I was carrying gel for the first time. I opted for Clif Shots because they had non-caffeinated chocolate. I'm trying to avoid caffeine. I have to say that they really helped a lot. I ate a Clif Shot at about one an hour, and the first one left me amazed. I was starting to go into a little decline at the hour mark, but after the gel, I felt really great.I continued on the Capital Crescent until it met up with the Rock Creek Parkway again and followed the RCP all the way home. Rock Creek was stunning today, so achingly beautiful that I was running along and laughing. When I run I really try to concentrate on my surroundings and it was terrific to do so today. The only trouble I had was that I kept thinking of music. I know this sounds innocuous, but I have a spiritual belief that I owe it to my higher power to try to appreciate whatever surroundings he/she/it has prepared for me. So I found myself running along, thinking, "help me to hear your work". It helped. The creek has a lovely murmur and I was able to concentrate on that.

The route ended up being right at 22 miles (http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2359605) I forgot to track about a half-mile detour I took when I got lost finding the RCP from the Crescent. I finished right at 3:31, which works out to 9:35 miles, which I was very happy with. I finished feeling pretty strong, and it occurred to me that I only had to run four more miles to run a marathon. The Marine Corps Marathon was today, so I could have signed up. Next year, I guess.

I did my fifth step yesterday.