New song: Everybody wants a plucking time machine

"Everybody wants a plucking time machine" by Timothy Chen Allen



WARNING: DIRTY WORDS! FOUL LANGUAGE! AWKWARD CONCEPTS!

Click here to see the decidedly adult lyrics

There are things in this world I have wished for
Love and kindness and peace with my fellow man
I can smile at the dreams of my childhood
But I still dream a dream when I can...

Everybody wants a plucking time machine
To go back to the day before bad luck
I'd have saved a lot of money
And kissed a lot of honeys
And have thought to wear a condom on my clock

Everybody wants a plucking time machine
To go back to the day before last night
I'd have skipped Pohang, Korea
And avoided gonorrhea
I'd have told you that I loved you at first sight, my darling

My dad told me, "Son, this world's a challenge,
The strong stand and fight, the weak just flee.
You can die as a hero or a coward"
I'm sorry, Dad, I'm taking option three

Everybody wants a plucking time machine
I'd a learned my lesson this time that's for sure
Turn the dial to last year
Face the world without fear
Laugh in the face of death he'll never know you're here

Everybody wants a plucking time machine
To make the awkward moments rush right past
If your wife puts you to blame
Or you shout out the wrong name
I could skip the night I told you
You're a horse's arse

All the dreams that this world has to offer
Can't compare to a night in your arms
I could've had two or three
Or three hundred easily
My machine would let me replay all your charms

The mistakes of our past: no consequences
Smiles on our faces, together we'd grow old
And with the final whisper of life on our lips
We'd turn the dial back over and start back from zero!

Everybody wants a plucking time machine
The challenges of living fade away
Brush aside the slings and arrows
You're brave down to the marrow
When you know you can't fuck up
It makes each day smile sweetly

Everybody wants a plucking time machine!