Sunday, December 14, 2008

Jingle Bells All The Way 10K: 46:27 (The Horror!)

Man, was it cold this morning. One of the women I work with, Allison, put together a roadracing team called "Disaster Blasters". So we all signed up for the Jingle Bells All The Way 10K.

Last year I ran this race in 51:45, so I'm happy that my time came down. But this race was marked by tragedy for me. You see, the race was going fine. I stretched out and really pushed the last few miles, turning in the first and fifth miles in 7:08-- not my old sub-sevens, but good.

I approached the finish line and really cranked it up. Then over the loudspeaker I heard one of the most blood-curdling, horrible, nasty things anyone has ever said about me:

"And here comes Tim Allen: One of our Masters racers."

Oh god, it's come to this. In this race I'm considered a masters racer. I half expected one of the volunteers to come bring me my cane as I crossed the finish line. I looked at all of the bright, clean-limbed youth I was finishing with and wondered if they could hear my Depends adult undergarments crinkling under my running pants. I felt about as cool as Elmer Fudd.

Sigh. I guess I'll go soak my bunions and see if I can remember my last name so I can look up my official results.


  1. awww! I'm sorry, but that really made me laugh! I was just discussing with my father the other day that really, he shouldn't be taking advantage of the "senior" discounts at stores when he can still run 100 mile races.. seems somewhat unfair. I really think that the age ranges for "masters" and "seniors" needs to change!

  2. Bleah, unfortunately. this race came at a premium for me: my back has been a little twitchy since my last 22 miler last Sunday. This race pushed it over the edge and now I'm flat on my tookus for a day. *Sigh*. But I'll be back at it shortly; I *do* need to figure out how to take better care of my lower back, granddaughter.


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